Aly was down with fever since Friday. We were so helpless as this is our first time experience a fever. I think it might be due to teething. I also had bad flu on and off for the same period of time. It's so irritable because up to this day I'm still not fully healed yet even after 2 visits to the clinic. 😩

It's quarter to 4 as I'm writing this. Heck, it's just one month away to the end of Q1. 😱 My daily routine is the same everyday without fail—bath Alyssa, feed her, play with her, make her sleep & repeat. She is getting more attached to me, not even sure if it's a good thing. We left her to mum last night so both of us can have some time to ourselves for a steamboat gathering over Kuan's place. It felt great to finally have some short silence in the house while Joe was having his afternoon nap, but as soon as we're all set in the car, I felt like part of me was missing! I felt so uneasy inside out, it's really been centuries since we have long hours to ourselves. This also means how active she can be at all time.

Did a cake smash shoot at home for Alyssa's 1st Birthday! It was not like any other cake smash photos I have seen online cos she totally rejected the cake I specially ordered for her. 😩

Set A: Birthday Crown

In the past year, I made efforts to travel as frequent as I can so that I wouldn't feel being tied up as a SAHM. As much as I miss those days when there's just the two of us, I'm just as happy to be making memories as a family of 3 now.

Fisheye always reminds me a lot of all the fun times I had when I was in my early 20s. Sing K, club scenes, food hunting, beach trips etc... Here's some last few shots from fisheye camera who has served me well for the last 10 years! The film was actually long abandoned in my camera before I realised it years later. Sadly the advance wheel was kind of stuck, I couldn't roll to next frame for another shot multiple times before it went totally dead.

The whole film resulted in only 6 shots in total, including 2 underexposed shots. 😭



Film photos are always surprising aren't they? I was lucky to find a brand new Lomo fisheye selling less than half of the retail price few months ago on Carousel! 😍 Guess I will just keep this spoiled one to display at our new home!

It's hard to me to have my camera with me now when I have a diaper bag and a baby to carry most of the time. Last week I went out for quick lunch nearby where I can also do my grocery next door. Never thought it would be a nice place to take photos because the surrounding was all full length glass windows that brings in ample natural light.

I spent one productive month in my hometown after election day(hooray to the new Malaysia!). It always started with lunch outside and come home trying to make baby have her naps. At least I've got lots of helping hands(thanks mum, sis and in-laws!) with the baby while I can do things such as meeting with friends over a cuppa or simply just enjoy my shower.

Raising kid indicates new challenges everyday, there's always something new and different. But what a privilege it is to watch your own child grow each day. There are days I feel extremely terrible when baby is being extra cranky but deep down inside, I'm enjoying every single moment. Truth be told, in the near future I probably won't remember the bad days or how the day felt so long when Joe is taking forever to come home from work. I also won't remember how many inches she grow or how much weight she gained each day.. I will only remember how she responded with a big smile the each time I make funny faces and how she melts me in every little thing she does whilst amazed by my ability to make such cute baby, I'm sure it crossed every mother's mind right?


Alyssa is 3 months old as of today, it also marks the 3rd month of me being a SAHM! It all seems to have happened so quickly and I still can't get used to having someone to call "my daughter". I can't wait for her to grow up and have more interactions with us; at the same time I wish the time could stop so she will always stay little in my arms.

It's been 2 weeks since the birth of Alyssa. I could still remember the earthy scent of her when she first handed to me fresh from vagina. Still find it hard to believe I actually did it. I can't say I have finally overcome the fear of labour, but thank god this whole new level of pain tolerance and childbirth experience is finally over!


Initially I wanted to have all natural childbirth(it makes complete sense why I signed up for hypnobirthing class), we decided to get induction due to low amniotic fluid on 39W1D. From anxiety to fear, then I was completely traumatised. The pain came too quickly I wasn't able to breathe through it. Getting any form of pain relief was never part of my plan because I'm really afraid of needles and the side effects. I almost do though, the pain was so intense I nearly ask to be killed. I found myself persistently inhale on laughing gas. At about 6PM, labour was progressing real slow so they decided to put me on Pitocin to speed things up. Fast forward to 8:30PM I was told to get ready to push. Active labour lasts for about 3 hours, so I was considered very, very lucky as a first-time mum!


Unfortunately I didn't manage to practise hypnobirthing skills I learned from class, but the rainbow relaxation music is extremely helpful to put me to sleep through my pregnancy. I also did the perineum massage and kegel exercises very regularly—it is said to reduce chance of tearing and episiotomy. So there's no tear & stitches for me I can still walk like a champ after delivery!

I made a public confession to thank Joe for being such a wonderful husband on FB the other day & I didn't mention about the hospital staffs. I wouldn't have done it without them too. I was really lucky to have a bunch of helpful, compassionate, supportive and patient midwives and nurses. I felt like I owed it so much to them especially when I was so vulnerable in the labour room. I didn't know the voice of nurses can be so comforting in the midst of chaos. It's amazing to see how they can handle the worst side of me when we're complete strangers. And my gynae Dr Nic, of course! I love him! My very crucial 3 days after delivery is very smooth sailing. My postpartum recovery is going well, so is my breastfeeding journey.

Breastfeeding is really not easy. Breast engorgement and cracked nipples are yet another whole new experience of pain. I was suffering in pain in my first week I felt so resisted to have baby latch on me. I was also stressed not having enough of milk supply. I didn't want to give up even Joe told me to, as I know breast milk is the best food I can give to my baby.


Childbirth is indeed a very rewarding experience. It's probably strange to have this come out from my mouth but yeah, I'm already looking forward to have another child but when the day comes, I look forward to handle labour with a peace of mind.